Tired of getting a good nights sleep ?
Fatigued from travelling and putting up with peace, quiet and endless good quality rest?
The experts at bose, leaders in the field of sound technology hardware and software have gone to incredible lengths to create our new sleep interference pods.
These delightful little devices will work absolutely fine for the 30 day money back guarantee period BUT…….And this is where the fun starts, we have built in a mysterious problem that occurs after this period just when you have started to kind of rely on them to help mask noise whilst sleeping .
Now every night you can be woken at various intervals by your right ear-pod becoming disconnected. Just the right one !
After careful research we found this was the most annoying scenario, and most likely to minimise any chance of a good nights sleep .Thats right! So at any moment, and we have seen to it that this is totally random with no pattern whatsoever, you will be sure to have your precious moments of rest disturbed … we guarantee it.
As if this was not enough we have also created a red herring ‘fix’ that is guaranteed to keep you up for hours and even disturb most of your waking day !! Yes, we have included what we like to call a ‘hope’ fix. This is the part we are most proud of. We tell you you can reset the sleep disturb base charging unit by inserting a paper clip into a small hole and ‘re setting’ the unit. Everyone has a paper clip with them right? If not .. even more sleep interruption for you lucky people as you search around for one. Thats on us !
This then appears to work for a random amount of time lulling you gently back to attempted sleeping before.. you guessed it, the hell of relentlessly disturbed sleep returns !
On top of this we have included a new concept in customer dissatisfaction for the traveling person “the impossible firmware update” .. oh Yes ! we tell you that you can ‘try’ to update your sleep prevention pods by connecting your unit to your home computer and updating.
There is of course no guarantee that this will actually fix the problem. ( in fact it wont !! Lol but shhh )
We know exactly how annoying this is going to be to someone travelling with say an ipad and an iPhone. And this is why we are marketing the sleep interruption pods to people travelling. Yes this product really is a piece of work.
We want to make sure you that are not enjoying yourself, certainly not getting a good nights sleep ! but instead wasting your precious time trying to fix a problem that is totally random and impossible to find a solution for.
Exciting new update ! March 2019
If you swap the actual pods around you can now have the left earpiece disconnect rather than the right one ! We hope you appreciate the effort ( and excuse the pun … sleepless nights HA HA HA ! ) bose’s geniuses have put in to this fix for you. Also we suggest whilst we do absolutely nothing to resolve this pathetic bug in our extremely expensive product, that you use the pods as normal ear plugs and don’t bother switching any sounds on ! This way you can be sure not to be irritated by any disconnection issues whatsoever !
Our commitment to you
Another example of bose’s commitment to customer dissatisfaction is the high probability (it will happen !) of the small magnet that just about pathetically alignes the pods inside the charging case (with a great deal of annoying fiddling every time you put them in the case) actually falling off the sleep pod itself ! Yep ! We are especially proud of this one…thereby ensuring that your pods will never recharge properly ! But you will spend hours tussling around .. maybe even trying to glue it back on etc and voiding any chance of replacement by us. L O so Loud …We are crying here !!
We really have tried to think of every little minute detail to ensure complete dissatisfaction with our product . Right down to the incredibly boring grey colour of the pods them-self.
Until we completely redesign this abomination of a product, we will GIVE you, yes ! Free of charge ! lots of silly little updates to our IOS app, to try to take attention away from our disastrous design flaws in the actual product you paid £250 for .. 🤭😂
Like Dark Mode ! Oooh. And … wait for it …. yes new sounds ! How do we come up with these brilliant ideas ? We amaze ourselves.
The experts at Bose.